Giving Marriage a Voice| Reading Groups Equip Participants to Share Historical Perspectives on Marriage, Human Sexuality
Culture seems to be changing at the speed of light. Pronouns, definition of marriage, hook-up culture, gender dysphoria… what once was common sense has morphed into a confusing conglomeration of conflicting ideas and terminology. Don’t you wish you had a way to discover the truth of these issues and be able to discuss them cogently?
CanaVox fills that void. The non-profit described as a “cheerful marriage movement” was formed in 2013 to address the negative impact of the sexual revolutions and the erosion of the marriage culture. Academic Director, Dr. Ana Samuel, began CanaVox as a project of the Witherspoon Institute, an academic research institute in Princeton, NJ. Its name comes from the Latin word for voice, vox, combined with a reference to the Biblical wedding held in Cana. It originally was meant to convey the idea of “giving marriage a voice,” a mission that has now expanded to become, “Giving the Natural Law View of Marriage and Sexuality a Voice.”
CanaVox trains people to lead reading groups to discuss “timeless truths about marriage and sexual integrity, to promote strong families, and to rebuild a flourishing society,” said Executive Director April Readlinger. The interfaith initiative relies on natural law reasoning to teach CanaVox participants how to “discuss the challenging topics of our times in a calm, respectful and thoughtful manner.” Content selection provides participants with vocabulary to articulate the truth with compassion and clarity.
The non-religious, ecumenical organization “cheers for marriages to be a permanent and exclusive union between one man and one woman. Their staunch positions on the true meaning of marriage and the strongest situation for a child are shared in an aspirational way, while also tackling current cultural struggles,” according to their site, canavox.com. Information supporting the historical definition of marriage led to other interconnected topics like pornography, transgender ideology, and gender dysphoria.
The website describes CanaVox’s process: “By bringing people face to face to engage in the art of conversation with others, we explore the various issues affecting the marriage culture in a calm, thoughtful setting, free from the hostilities often found in today’s public discourse. We are a forward-thinking and solutions-focused network of friends for marriage. Rooted in natural law, social science and plain good sense, our reading groups provide you with support and instruction on the meaning and magnificence of marriage.
“We embrace universal reasons in order to speak effectively and lovingly to all, regardless of race or religion. Marriage is a gift of our common humanity.”
April runs the team of part-time “State and International Leaders” who comb through the latest news articles, research, podcasts and videos addressing timely topics. “The connection with Witherspoon and its affiliated scholars helps the leaders bring the best and most compelling scientific and philosophical research to all of our participants,” April said. These resources are curated into CanaVox’s reading lists that then are used by volunteers who run groups in their local neighborhoods.
“We tapped into a resource of volunteers who could be available to lead reading groups for us around the world,” April said. CanaVox provides the materials — leaders just host a group of friends and neighbors to discuss each lesson. Leaders are asked to agree with CanaVox’s guidelines and their “cheer points” addressing human relationships, after which they attend an online training to ease into the role.
CanaVox describes reading groups in the invitation on their website,"Raise Spirits! Start a Group. Want to invite certain marriage-supporters-in-hiding to your living room? CanaVox reading groups provide brain food for thought and encouragement to the weary, so you and your friends can support each other in the exquisite truth about marriage. Rekindle some hope in your neighborhood.”
Now 860 volunteers are trained to run groups of 5-12 participants in their areas. Most meet once a month in person, April said, because people build community as they talk about the tough issues. But the pandemic introduced an option for online groups that still continues.
The CanaVox team keeps current on research articles or studies that offer the best information with a punch. They’ll pair an academic piece with a personal narrative to help bring it to life.
“We cull together the greatest information from public discourse that will spur conversations,” April said. “Even in a group of like minded friends, not everybody agrees with everything. We want to get people talking about tough topics in a way that is cheerful and positive. We are not looking at baiting the other side.”
Topics addressing marriage, family, human sexuality and sexual integrity have expanded to now number 26 sessions in the original reading list designed for midlife adults. Each topic includes several pieces of information to read or watch that take about 45 minutes to complete. While CanaVox is ecumenical, the organization is not faith based.
“We find our support from other social science, natural law, philosophy. We want people who are strong in their faith, have different faiths or no faith at all to be able to engage when they talk about these things. In discussion, they are able to clarify their ideas and thoughts so they can articulate ideas when they come up,” April said.
An example of the reading list for Session 10: Communication in Marriage
Eric Barker, “The 4 Most Common Relationship Problems — And How To Fix Them”
Matthew Fray, “She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink.”
MissFranJanSan via Jason W. Stevens, “Woman Realizes that She’s Been Accidentally Abusing her Husband this Whole Time.”
Richard Paul Evans, “How I Saved My Marriage”
Optional:
Emily Esfahani Smith, “Science Says Lasting Relationships Come Down to 2 Basic Traits.”
Resource for finding a marriage counselor:
www.marriagefriendlytherapists.com
One couple described CanaVox’s impact on their marriage with this statement:
“I started attending a CanaVox group when my husband and I were struggling with three children five-and-under, some really tough personal crosses that were weighing down our marriage, and communication skills that were lacking. We loved each other and our children. We wanted things to be better. We just didn’t know how. I gave so much thought and prayer to how to grow strong, trusting bonds between my husband and I and our children so that we could have a happy, healthy, holy family life.
Enter… CanaVox! I will never forget the warmth I began to feel upon doing those readings and attending the CanaVox meetings. The stories we read, the stories we shared… It was so good to know I was not alone. My husband and I weren’t the only ones struggling with how to communicate, love each other well, and develop and maintain true intimacy. Reading about the Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse was like an examination of conscience. Wow. I was doing things that I didn’t even realize were bad for a marriage! We use the ‘bids’ language now and we are committed to turn towards each other’s bids with kindness, generosity, and love.
I see CanaVox as the antidote to many of the problems that have developed in our world since the sexual revolution. Through the readings - diving deep into the problems of divorce, porn, donor conceived children, same sex attraction, and many others, I have come to see that the light is out there, and we are it. Each conversation with a neighbor considering divorce, with a sister considering cohabitation, with a friend about porn… we each have a different role to play. And CanaVox has put words to my lips in conversations that I would have previously avoided out of fear of saying the wrong thing or anxiety about the outcome.” - CanaVox Pro Participant -
In the ensuing years, participant numbers have grown as news spreads by word of mouth, and team leaders have developed deep connections among people who are really interested, April added. The curriculum has expanded to include other audiences. In addition to the Adult Pro reading list curriculum, CanaVox Young Pro addresses similar topics but with examples more appealing to young professionals and recent college graduates.
Several years ago, CanaVox parents asked for ways to discuss these issues with their children and teens. CanaVox Varsity was developed for college students, and CanaVox JV for middle and high school students. The JV program differs slightly in that discussions are run by the core team in a teaching model, as the younger audience is still in the stage of gathering information, April said. Parents have shared how CanaVox content has impacted their lives – helping them understand a topic they weren’t clear about or reinforcing beliefs.
“Students may not understand why someone is suffering from same sex attraction or gender dysphoria. We can help them speak the truth with compassion,” April said. “Most of our kids are hearing things, but they are not hearing the right information to be able to give another perspective. We also can give them confidence that there are other families out there who hold the same beliefs.”
Parents also asked for ways to talk to their children about sexuality in alignment with natural law. The CanaVox leaders were not satisfied with the resources available, so they created a short book called, Tips for Talking to Your Kids about Sex. Available at the CanaVox website or on Amazon, April described it as a “quick primer for parents about how to approach the topic for kids of different ages.”
The same participant had this feedback.
“We were also so grateful to learn that we weren’t the only ones who had no idea how to present sex to our kids. We wanted to do it in a way that was both age appropriate and beautiful. I love the ‘layered’ approach to this that I’ve learned in CanaVox. That teaching your kids about sex is just having many different conversations over time, and I subscribe to the idea that ‘it’s better to be a year too early than five minutes too late,’ because I want these conversations to come from my husband and I, and not Google or the kid next door.”
Following the pattern of creating resources when they see a need, as they did for younger audiences, CanaVox developed a Project Manhood series led by and for men that specifically addresses topics they face.
“Dear Katy” podcasts were developed to answer common questions the organization has fielded. The “video advice column” provides thoughtful answers to dilemmas like, “Should I go to a same sex wedding?” Katy is one of CanaVox’s senior leaders who also heads a Children’s Rights organization, Them Before Us. Her work includes chronicling stories from children of divorce, children conceived through surrogacy or sperm donation, and those who suffer a primal wound from being purposefully separated from a parent.
CanaVox’s cheer points can be found on their website. They communicate the fact that a healthy marriage culture is not just about marriage—it’s about a matrix of issues and relationships that interact and create the conditions for a healthy marriage culture.
Marriage is a comprehensive, permanent, and exclusive union between one man and one woman.
Every child has a right to a mother and a father; no one has a right to a child.
Family kinship bonds between children, parents, grandparents, and extended family should be protected and preserved.
Every person has a profound need to be appreciated, known, and loved in the context of authentic friendship.
Every person possesses a unique dignity and is worthy of respect, regardless of sex, age, ethnicity, sexual feelings, race, educational level or religious or political ideas.
Parents have the right and responsibility to direct and guide the education of their children.
Every person has a right to freedom of conscience, thought, and religion, which includes the freedom to manifest one’s religion or beliefs in a public or private way so long as these beliefs and practices do not harm others.
April Readlinger
Interested in learning how to engage others in a positive, truthful way to encourage flourishing marriages and families – even in the “hot-button” areas of culture that threaten to divide and derail relationships? Find out more at CanaVox.com.
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