Jamie and Chris Bailey Overcame Broken Backgrounds to Help Marriages as Counselors

Apr 1

Have you ever worried that something in your past might disqualify you from serving God? Feel like poor choices or growing up in a dysfunctional home are too much to overcome? Be encouraged. God can redeem all things. There’s no background or brokenness God can’t use for good for those who wholeheartedly seek him.

This promise rings true in the lives of Chris and Jamie Bailey. The professional counselors and marriage coaches overcame many challenges to be the inspirational leaders they are now. The Baileys know what it’s like to live as non-believers. In their 28 years of marriage, they’ve overcome painful histories, fought, felt isolated and felt misunderstood. They can identify with the couples they counsel, as they’ve personally experienced trials, hardships and hard work. “By the grace of God, along with our willingness to follow Him, we also know the healing, the abundant joy, the deep connection, unconditional love, and everything else that marriage is meant to be,” they note on their website, and they explain that they have “made it our life’s passion to bring healing and sustaining joy back into hurting and hopeless marriages.”

Neither Chris nor Jamie grew up in an intact, or even a Christian home. Jamie was on her own with a young daughter by the time she was 19. When she met Chris, his love for her, although rooted in an unhealthy desire to people-please, healed many of her wounds and softened her heart to allow her to eventually accept the love of God.

“God was using our brokenness to meet needs in one another,” Chris said. A few years into their marriage the couple realized what they were doing for each other had temporary benefits but not enough steam to go the distance long term. Friends invited them to church, and the idea of a free lunch for their family of five afterward was attractive. Chris’s experience performing in theater productions prompted him to agree to participate in the church’s Christmas drama. His role: portraying an unbeliever who would come to realize a need for Christ (basically, typecasting). Chris shared an incredible experience when, at practice, the worship pastor stopped mid-prayer and said he felt God impressing upon him that someone in the room was struggling and needed to accept Jesus. Chris realized, “that person was me.” He shared his decision with Jamie, who felt so moved by Chris’ trust in Christ that she also followed his lead. That was September 19, 1999, a day that changed the trajectory of their lives forever.

With transformed hearts, the couple began seeking God, feeling a hunger for anything apologetics driven. They started doing Bible studies, then leading studies. Chris even earned a bachelor’s degree in biblical studies. Jamie started from the ground up, homeschooling herself to complete her high school diploma, then eventually earning her own bachelor’s degree in human development.

Another dramatic shift occurred when the couple cut ties with the past and moved to South Carolina in 2002. “That’s when it felt like we had broken free from everything holding us back,” Jamie said. “It was a huge time of prayer and growth.” Jamie became a women’s ministry leader, and the Baileys began mentoring couples. They both continued their education, obtaining master’s degrees in Professional Christian Counseling and opened a private counseling practice, First Care Christian Counseling, at First Baptist Fort Mill in 2012.

A lightbulb went off when they realized everybody sitting on their couch was coming from a broken home. The Baileys realized they needed to get to the root cause and offer preventive care to stop the problems before they started for the next generation. They noted that a spouse can and should be a best ally when someone is struggling with a concern like anxiety or depression. Overcoming the issue works much better when the counselor can enlist the spouse’s help.

“Next to God, your spouse is your best resource in life,” Chris said. “In the Love God, Love Others model, the first ‘other’ should be your spouse. God put man together with a helpmate. Man and woman becoming one completes God’s image. It’s not good to be alone.”

The Baileys began broadening their ministry from Christian counseling when they created Expedition Marriage in 2018. “We were seeing too many broken families, especially in the church,” Chris said. “The number of couples who are hurting in the body is too close to that of the world. It never sat right with me. I felt like seeing couples one at a time was like fighting a fire with a squirt gun.”

“Working with one couple at a time for one hour can only make so much of a dent,” Jamie added. Groups and seminars can make a bigger impact, although the Baileys still delight to lead couples in deep marital distress to a breakthrough via one-on-one, in person, intensive weekends following the Reboot retreat model taught by Married For a Purpose ministry. “Our driving factor for the distressed couple is hope,” Jamie said. “I come from so much junk, and I’ve seen what hope has done in our lives. We want to move them from hopeless to hope filled.”

The heart behind Expedition Marriage is taking back what the enemy is trying to come and steal. Marriage is God’s idea – which means it is good, Chris said. “Even when it is hard, you can still enjoy it, because it is good, and it is purposeful. We can enjoy this journey of marriage,” Jamie added. “We can do hard things and come out stronger for it. Our marriage should be a witnessing tool. People should see grace, love, mercy, kindness, purpose, support and being there for each other.”

“God put man together with a helpmate. Man and woman becoming one completes God’s image. It’s not good to be alone.”

— Chris Bailey

“Don’t settle for mediocrity, that is not honoring to God.”

The Baileys are SYMBIS and Prepare/Enrich certified and equipped to lead or train others in the programs. They often use these techniques to conduct intensive retreats or counsel pre-married couples.

Expedition Marriage went strictly online in 2020 due to Covid, and to their surprise, the transition was quite smooth. They realized couples really enjoyed meeting with them via an electronic platform. Marriage Champions and couples can set counseling appointments, find podcasts, challenges or other material at their website, https://expeditionmarriage.org/.

Their 20-minute podcast episodes showcase the Baileys’ counseling style. They discuss popular topics like their four-part series on communication, distorted thoughts, reconnecting or concerns. Sadly, the episodes, “Help, my spouse has had an affair,” and “Enough is Enough,” addressing the problem of a narcissistic spouse with Dr. David Clark, have been their most popular episodes. “We like helping the really hurting people,” Jamie said. When couples reach out, the Baileys may recommend their four-week Restoring Connection Plan. The online course includes a video, brief teaching, and daily conversation plan. Each week contains a different focus, but the goal is to build better connecting habits. Chris likened building connections to the concept of Velcro, the greater number of sticky points that mesh together, the tighter the bond.

Their 30 Day Praying for Your Spouse Challenge is a free email challenge spouses can sign up for separately or together. Expedition Marriage will send the husband and/or wife an email challenge every day for 30 days that includes a scripture and link to a blog or podcast that will spur them to pray for their spouse. The Baileys encourage those enrolled to interact personally with them during the challenge, even providing an email so they can come alongside in prayer.

“We can do hard things and come out stronger for it. Our marriage should be a witnessing tool. People should see grace, love, mercy, kindness, purpose, support and being there for each other.”

— Jamie Bailey

They’ve seen churches commit to encourage their congregations to sign up for the challenge together. The Baileys noted the number one result for those in the challenge: God’s revelation of areas of sin. “When you spend 30 concentrated days praying for your spouse, you’re rolling out the red carpet for the Holy Spirit to work in your and your spouse’s lives. This is not a ‘fix my wife/fix my husband thing.’ You’re lifting them to the Lord. It changes how you pray for them. Things are brought into the light so they can be dealt with.”

Jamie recounted the story of one wife who was desperately praying for her husband who was away from the Lord. She praised God for her cancer diagnosis that was the catalyst to bring him back to the marriage. “That shows how prayer can change your heart,” Jamie added.

30 Day Praying for Your Husband/Wife Challenge Reviews

“The 30 Day Prayer Challenge was exactly what my marriage needed. It not only changed the way I was seeing my husband, but it also helped me see areas in my own life that needed to change.” - Jennie K.

“Thank you for this prayer challenge. Going through it was the first time in a long time that I saw peace come back to my husband. It made me realize just how important it is for me to pray for him every day.” - Cathy B

“I never really knew what to pray for my wife. This challenge not only helped me know what to pray but also how to pray for her using scripture. I didn’t tell her I was doing it but could tell my prayers were being answered.” - Jim R

Their Newlywed Couples Devotional – 52 Weeks of Everyday Scripture, Reflection and Prayers for a God-Centered Marriage - published in 2020, offers 52 weekly pages that provide an easy on-ramp to help couples read scripture together, with conversation starters, application exercises and a prayer.

Chris recently started a podcast titled, Not Your Average Man, to help men become who God called them to be, which is better than average, he said. Chris honestly gets to the heart of issues like pornography, emotions behind being a passive husband, insecurities and fears to help men lead their families and “be a man after God’s own heart,” he said. The podcast grew from content found in his Men’s Devotional for Dads. The book offers a year of guidance and wisdom, with scripture, application and prayer addressed specifically to fathers.

An example of an entry:

Devotion 28

“I Will Fail Forward So My Kids Can Too”

The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked.

PROVERBS 24:16

Do you enjoy solving problems? It seems most men do. It’s great to show up as the hero of the situation, or as the man with the plan.

But what about those times when you can’t solve the problem, or you don’t know the answer, or—worst-case scenario—you try, but get it wrong?

The fear of failure causes a lot of men to avoid whatever it is they know God is calling them to. A common response to initial failure is to give up and get angry.

Of course, no one really likes to fail. But for men, there seems to be much more of a fear there, which is why those responses seem so extreme.

To many men, failure equals incompetence. But the question is, is that the truth? Is “incompetent” the message you would give your child whose Lego building just fell for the third time? How about your teenager who is learning to drive and can’t parallel park? Of course not! What you say is, “Honey, just keep practicing.” Or, “Son, it’s okay. You’re learning.”

Are you not worthy of the same grace and encouragement you give them?

As much as you may hate failure, you need a proper perspective of it. Failure doesn’t equal incompetence. It just means you failed this time.

As a believer, get back up, seven more times if you need to. Fail forward. Keep trying. That’s the lesson your kids need to see from you.

Dear Lord, you are a God of second chances, with whom anything is possible. Remove any fear of failure I have and help me to remember that my failures are opportunities for your redemption and for my own personal growth. Help me to model this well for my children. Amen.”

You can find more about the Baileys and Expedition Marriage at https://expeditionmarriage.org/.